The story of John Van Matre. The old guy that won’t pay rent. At 5’4 he teaches us all a valuable lesson in how identify a narcissist.
John’s self-esteem is only paralleled by his inability to not talk for more than 30 seconds. If he gets going the only way to stop is walk away. That’s why he loves being a bar tender so much. The captive audience makes it way easier to try out his doomed comedy set. He really is the worst, but at least steroids make him feel strong.
After flunking out of the US Army, John worked as a drug dealer trafficking's cocaine until he was arrested. As a convicted felon, he was unable to hide his legal history from others, so he committed himself to life as a nomad. He traveled the world screwing over anyone he could convince to trust him and enjoying himself as he pleased.
He now dabbles in steroid use and Facebook marketplace scams along with bartending. If you are aware of his current situation please reach out so we can update our website to his current status.
Picture of John Van Matre exploring a normal sized man’s rectum